When I started writing this blog I wanted it to be a place of encouragement and joy, and I wanted to be real with you and bring you along on my journey of learning and growing. I hoped that through my many mishaps and challenges you could perhaps find some insight and awareness for you and your life, and that you could hopefully laugh at yourself through laughing at me!
Parenting can be a bit tricky sometimes.
There will be some days that I find myself despairing about my lack of skill and knowledge in this department, feeling fearful of letting my children down due to my inability to make decisions, not knowing exactly what I should be doing with them. I sometimes feel I must have missed the memo somewhere- the one that ALL the other parents got, the one that has some magic wisdom of getting your child to listen and obey, and just act normally.
Some days I feel like that.
What causes us to want to flee when things get too difficult, or too painful? What makes us seek out unhelpful distractions as a way to relieve tension, but not actually face what is going on? Rather then deal with the reality of the difficult issues in our lives, we sometimes attempt to escape them.
Having a baby shakes up your world, on a practical level but also on a deeply emotional level. I found that not just my daily life and relationships were changed, but my very identity came into question.
Before I had my first baby, I thought I knew myself reasonably well, my faults and failures and where I excelled. I thought I knew my good and bad points but these are now all suddenly magnified and tested as you are pushed to your very limit and a just bit further.
I am upstairs with my baby boy, rocking and singing and swaying and patting. I’m hoping he will fall asleep soon, my arm is starting to go dead and I just so badly want to put him down so I can go downstairs and read one of my parenting blogs I save especially for nap time.
It was in this moment God spoke to me and reminded me just to stop and listen to His guidance.
If someone were to ask you for a picture to describe your life, what would you think of?
Your answer to this question can help reveal how you feel about yourself, how you feel about others and how you feel about God. It can help you to understand the values which underpin your thoughts and your actions.
Just before I set off on one of our many walks to the shops with my 2 year old daughter Sophia, I knelt down and looked her in the eye and gently held onto her arm so that she can hear me. I say ‘You must stay near me today Sophia, don’t run off or hang back, I need to keep you safe’.
My daughter is wonderfully engaging, lively and
defiant courageous, and so she needs this warning before we leave.
After months of dealing with an escapee toddler, she hears my warning and decides to try something different.
Sometimes in life we see and admire people who just seem to have a certain something extra, a kind of leadership that is humble but powerful and with a way of dealing with situations that is both wise and discerning. It can be hard to put your finger on what exactly makes that person so commanding and inspiring.
We were very excited to embark on the journey of becoming parents; a decision made after much thought and after Matt had done all his budgeting spreadsheets and ticked off all the boxes (house, car, happy relationship). We then decided, ‘we are ready… now for the fun bit!’
We were I guess a little naïve about the minefield of trying for a baby and potential pain that was ahead.